Seven Guys I Won’t Date

As a single person, people occasionally give me grief for being “too picky.” Really, if that’s what I’m going to go down in history as, I can deal with that. I have high standards and I am not ashamed!

While there are certain things I will compromise on if necessary, there are a handful I absolutely will not. There are a few types of guys out there I just won’t date. (Or, at least, I won’t once I find out any of the traits listed below are present.)

Now, don’t get me wrong: God loves everyone, including these seven types of people. As Christians, we are called to love them, too. But that doesn’t mean we have to yoke ourselves to them. We also have to use wisdom!

Here are seven guys I don’t see much wisdom in dating:

• The Abuser. I want to feel safe in a relationship and I want my future children to feel safe at home, as well. Even the most attractive guy with a nasty temper is not an option for me.
• The User. If a guy is just using me because of some perceived status or financial benefit (That would be an error in judgment, for what it’s worth – I’m not Paris Hilton and I’m really not that cool), he’s not the one for me. I want a guy to like me for me, not for what he thinks he can gain from me.
• The Alcoholic. I’ve had relatives who’ve struggled with addiction and the gene, to some extent, runs in my family. That stops with me. I do not consume alcohol in any quantity, and I want to raise my children in an alcohol-free home. Drinking is not an option for me in a potential spouse.
• The Atheist. My relationship with God is important to me, and I won’t “missionary-date” someone who isn’t a follower of Christ. I don’t think it would be wise to marry someone who doesn’t share my faith for the sake of any future children or for my own sake. (The Bible calls that being “unequally yoked,” and, when in doubt, I go with God’s Word.) I want a husband who shares my values and will be a spiritual leader.
• The Liar. I want to be able to trust the guy I end up with. I want my kids to have an honest father. Lying is more than a bad habit; it is hurtful and destructive. Healthy relationships are built on trust, and I won’t spend much time around someone if I notice a pattern of dishonesty.
• The Player. I am wary of guys with extensive dating histories, and I have zero tolerance for men who date multiple women at a time. (I cannot understand for the life of me why so many women worship The Bachelor!) If a guy is undecided about one woman, he can either keep dating her exclusively until he gets clarity or end the relationship and pursue someone else – simple as that. Stringing two people along at the same time communicates that neither one is valued and is a recipe for heartbreak. And if a guy has dated every girl in the county, that tells me he’s probably not the settling-down type and I’d rather not waste my time.
• The Sloth. If a guy doesn’t have a good work ethic, I’m not interested. The right guy will be willing and able to provide for a family. I’m not saying he has to have a six-figure income by any means, but I’m definitely looking for someone who’s motivated and hardworking.

That’s it! For now. 😉 (Be warned: this list is by no means comprehensive! I am picky, after all…)

What’s on YOUR will-not-date list? Help the rest of us keep our standards high and tell us what yours are!