Reasons I Won’t Date a Guy

Reasons I Won't Date a Guy | Millennials with Meaning
Photo by Laula Co on Unsplash

I haven’t had to turn down that many guys in my 33 years of life (and none were asking until I was a few years into my 20s, either!), but on occasion I will decline someone’s advances, and I have said no to more than I’ve said yes to. Because I’m super sensitive, I do not enjoy saying no to someone else who’s hopeful.

The Holy Spirit usually speaks to me very strongly, though, about whether it’s the right time for me to date or not, whether someone’s a good match for me or not, and whether I’d be obedient to him or not in saying yes to a date with someone. There are times when I choose to say no, whether my reason for declining is specifically about that person or not about him at all.

Here are some dealbreakers for me – reasons I will say no to a date with someone:

  • I’m not in a season when I feel the “green light” from God to date.
  • He drinks alcohol and that’s not what I want to model to my future children.
  • He’s too young. (I’m too old.)
  • He’s too old. (I’m too young.)
  • He’s not looking for marriage.
  • He’s dishonest.
  • He’s lazy.
  • We have different political views.
  • I’m working through things in my own life.
  • He doesn’t go to church or doesn’t go regularly.
  • He doesn’t want kids.
  • He has anger issues.
  • He has a history of serial short-term relationships (AKA commitment issues).
  • His ego is out of control and he has pride issues.
  • He hangs out with people of questionable character.
  • Someone whose judgment I trust advises against it.
  • He’s immature.
  • I read the records and I’ve seen his name in the paper.
  • He chases after every female he encounters.
  • He’s someone I’d be ashamed to introduce to my family.
  • I just “know” he’s not the one.
  • I don’t feel God’s blessing on it.

Your dealbreakers don’t necessarily have to be the same as mine, but I think it’s important to recognize what we’re looking for and what we’re not looking for in dating. I’d rather think about these things at the start than wish I had down the road! Most of all, I believe it’s so important to ask God what he thinks and then obey what he says. His will always trumps ours, and he has the BEST in mind for us if we will only invite him into the process.

You have to say no to the wrong ones in order to say yes to the right one. May we all have the wisdom, courage, and kindness to do so. ❤️

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