Happy Valentine’s Day! A whole bunch of singles are rolling their eyes as I say that, I know.
I get it. Especially on days like today, singleness can be difficult.
Sometimes people assume that since I seem so content as a single, I must not want to be married. Ha! This is false on two levels.
One: I am not always that content. Sorry! Do I seem content? I’m glad, because I don’t always feel that way. At times I do. There are some great perks to being single, most notably not having to share a bathroom (🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼), but there are definitely moments of discontentment in my life, too. Overall, I feel at peace about where I’m at because I know it’s where God has led me and I’m where I’m supposed to be. I also know that God will bring the right person into my life at the right time and that it’s a waste of energy to worry about all the what-ifs of something that’s not my job to arrange. But, of course, there are days when doubt creeps in under the guise of “logic.” Or when I’m tempted to give into the spirit of control and see if I can do a “better” job than God of moving Mr. Right in my direction faster. (To quote Steve Backlund, “Let’s just laugh at that!”)
The bottom line is that, like most people, I can have good days when I feel pretty content, and I can have bad days when I don’t feel content at all. I try to consciously choose an attitude of contentment, and sometimes I fail. But deciding to be happy with what you have really is a choice, it will be a choice your entire life – regardless of your relationship status or any other status – and it’s a good choice to purposefully make.
Two: I definitely want to be married. I don’t remember a time in my life I didn’t want to be married, although there have been times I wouldn’t have admitted it. I wanted to be a mother starting at birth, and since I knew marriage was a good prerequisite for motherhood, naturally I always wanted to be married, too. That has never changed.
I want to be married. I desire marriage. But I want to be married to the RIGHT guy more than I want to be married. I’d rather patiently (more or less) wait for Mr. Right than desperately chase after a bunch of Mr. Maybes. I don’t want to marry a Mr. Maybe – as in, maybe he’s good enough, maybe he’s right, maybe we could make this work – I want to marry Mr. Right. Even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right Away and make a swift arrival.
I’d like him to…but if he doesn’t, I’m not settling for a Maybe.
I’d like to be married – I’d love to be, actually – and I believe someday I will be. But it’s more important to me to marry the right guy than it is to marry at all. And until the right guy comes into my life at the right time, I’ll be here, listening for God’s direction, working on contentment, and doing my best to be the Mrs. Right my groom is looking for.
If you’re reading this and feeling down on this heart-filled holiday, I pray you will be encouraged, strengthened in your resolve not to settle, and reminded of the Father’s perfect love for you. He knows the desires of your heart, he has the BEST for you, and you can trust him. ❤️
And, hey! If nothing else, tomorrow there will be half-off candy at Target. 😉 Heart-shaped Reese’s, here I come! 🏃🏼♀️