The Best or Something Better

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you click through to Amazon and make a purchase, I may receive a small compensation, at no extra cost to you. That said, I only share products I truly like and think my readers can benefit from!

I don’t think anyone has ever accused me of having standards that are too low. On the contrary, people often try to convince me to lower my standards – in any area of life, but especially in dating.

If someone asks about the local dating pool and I reply that I’m not currently aware of anyone available who meets my standards, I don’t often hear a faith-filled response like, “God is able! Won’t he do it?! He did it for So-and-So; he’ll do it for you, too!”

No, instead I usually hear one of the “Have-you-considereds”:

Have you considered…
Someone younger?
Someone older?
Moving?
Anyone with a different faith background?
A guy who has different political beliefs?

And, of course, the most common one: “Have you considered online dating?” Someday I’ll probably write a whole post about why I don’t do dating apps, but for now, suffice it to say:

No. The answer is no. Actually, the answer is yes, I do consider these things, but only when temptation comes knocking, which tells me everything I need to know about where my standards should remain.

I don’t think it’s God’s character to want his children to settle any more than a good earthly father wants his children to settle. Settle down, maybe, but not settle. It’s laughable to imagine most of the dads I’ve met remarking, “I sure hope my daughter settles for this one. He’s not the best, but she’s not going to get anyone better. Can’t be too picky in this day and age. Beggars can’t be choosers.”

No way! Good parents want the absolute best for their children, and God is no different. I would argue that God’s best is better than we can even comprehend, not a step or two below what we hope is possible. As his children, we aren’t beggars; we’re the apple of his eye. We are children of the King.

Certainly, there are times and seasons – sometimes long ones – when we must do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes God places open doors in front of us that don’t look like the doors we’ve prayed for, yet he makes it clear we’re supposed to walk through anyway. Like most of us, I’ve worked jobs I didn’t enjoy. I’ve spent time with people who got on my last nerve, even though I didn’t want to. I’ve purchased the less-expensive items when I really wanted the spendier ones. We don’t always get the best right away when we want it, but God knows what we need to build character and prepare during the in-between seasons.

My dad reminded me of this in the natural all the time when I was growing up. When my brothers or I would ask him for something and he said no (He almost always said no), he’d often tell us, “It builds character.” Driving a junky car built character. Riding the bus when everyone else’s parents chauffeured them around built character. Going without the coolest name-brand shoes built character.

I think this principal is truest in the spiritual realm. God only delays gratification when it builds character.

Though at times God withholds things for a season or because he has plans for something even better in the future, I don’t think my God is a God of settling or of “good enough.” Scripture tells us he is a God of abundance. A God of exceedingly, abundantly more. A God who gives good gifts to his children. Those who hope in him will not be disappointed.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 10:10 ESV

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.

Philippian 4:19 NLT

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…

Ephesians 3:20 NKJV

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:11 NIV

Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:5 AMP

Earlier this year, I read Lacey Sturm’s book The Mystery: Finding True Love in a World of Broken Lovers, and one line has stuck with me for many months since. Sturm shared the words a friend of hers said after meeting the most amazing guy: “I’ll just be so excited if he’s not the one, because that means God has someone better than him, and I just can’t even fathom that.” Sturm’s friend did go on to marry that man, but I love how she kept a hope-filled attitude from the beginning, expecting the best possible outcome either way. I think it’s a good mindset to adopt in any area of life: God’s best or something better.

In friendships: God’s best or something better. If you’ve struggled to make and keep friends, God will either restore to you the best friend you’ve ever had, or he will bring you an even more loyal friend.

In your career: God’s best or something better. Imagine your dream job. God either has an incredible job for you just like that, or he has something better that will fulfill you even more.

In dating: God’s best or someone better. Think about the highest-quality person you’ve ever been interested in. If God doesn’t give you that specific person, he has someone even better, and his goodness will blow your mind.

Get your hopes up! God will give you your definition of the absolute best…or he’ll give you something even better.