Waiting for the Yes

Several years ago, I remember pacing my parents’ living room on the phone as I received a job offer. I knew it wasn’t God’s best for me, but I was flattered and I accepted it because I was afraid nothing better would come along. I didn’t want people to think I was lazy and I didn’t exactly have any other employers banging down my door, so I got into a situation that I didn’t feel a whole lot of peace about, and I soon found out why.

In some ways I feel like I’m still in that same place, so many years later, repeating the same cycle over and over and wondering what to do next. I’m literally living in the same house, far past when I thought I would. I’m still hoping something better comes along because the opportunities in front of me don’t bring the peace I’m looking for, and I feel the pressure to settle because I feel down to the wire again. Didn’t I need to make a decision like…yesterday?

And then I think of the times since I’ve stood in this house and received offers I didn’t take. There have been a few. I guess I’ve learned something, after all.

So many times in my life – SO MANY TIMES! – when I ask God for direction, all he says to me is “Wait.” I’ve obeyed and I haven’t obeyed, and it’s always turned out far better when I’ve obeyed. God’s solutions usually come later than I’d like them to, but they’re always the best ones.

It’s uncomfortable to wait and it’s embarrassing sometimes – maybe even most of the time – when everybody else is being ambitious and chasing their dreams and hustling and I’m just sitting here waiting because I don’t feel God’s “yes” on anything. Waiting can sound nice in theory, but there’s a reason none of us like to wait.

What I’ve learned and am sometimes still learning is that it’s worth it to wait for the yes. Even when the yes seems to be delayed according to my timeline. Even when it feels like I have to make a decision ASAP. If God says I don’t, I really don’t. That’s just the world’s narrative. If God isn’t rushed, I don’t need to be, either.

So until his next yes comes, I’m doing what he said to do: waiting.

Easier said than done, huh? 😊