My Philosophy on Dating

My Philosophy on Dating | Millennials with
Photo by Colin Maynard on Unsplash

I have a pretty simple philosophy on dating. It doesn’t seem to be that common, and some even see it as controversial, but it’s not complicated.

In today’s society, it is no longer common to just WAIT. Not for anything – news, Amazon packages, dinner…we live in the era of drive-thrus, smartphones, social media, and same-day delivery.

I understand the temptation to rush along relationships in the same way. Truly, I do.

Many people have tried to convince me to take matters into my own hands:

  • Sign up for an online dating service.
  • Friend request that mysterious guy.
  • Go on a blind date. (Coincidentally, everybody seems to have the perfect person in mind!)

Not only do I understand the appeal in all of these things, but I also appreciate the gestures. Happily married people just want to see me happily married, too. They know I’m the marrying type and they want to help me get there faster.

Believe me, I wanted to get there faster than this, too! 😂

Here’s the thing, though: you can’t rush God’s timing. Even though sometimes I’m tempted to in the moment, in the grand scheme of things, I know it’s wiser to wait.

I could certainly try to rush God’s timing (and at times I have). I just don’t think that’s a risk worth taking, because I want to marry the right one, not just the one that’s right in front of me right now.

I’m a planner. I like to know what’s going to happen ahead of time. I can easily be kind of a control freak.

But in this? The biggest decision of my life after salvation? I don’t want to take matters into my own hands; I want God to make things happen in HIS perfect timing…even if it doesn’t match my own.

Here is my philosophy on dating in a nutshell:

I know what I’m looking for, I know it when I see it, I don’t see it very often, and I’m willing to wait for it because I trust God to bring it to me in his timing.

Let’s break it down:

I know what I’m looking for: I have a list of qualities I want in a husband that are nonnegotiable for me.

I know it when I see it: I just know. When I meet a person who checks off all the qualities on my list, it’s obvious almost right away. It’s also obvious which people don’t – not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with them; they just aren’t a fit for me.

I don’t see it that often: I very rarely meet someone who encompasses what I’m looking for. I have met people who do; it just doesn’t happen often.

I’m willing to wait for it: I know it’s worth it, he’s worth it, and I’m worth it. I know I’ll never regret not settling, but I would eventually regret it if I did settle.

I trust God to bring it to me: God is the most trustworthy person of all time. He knows what’s best for me and he knows the desires of my heart because he gave them to me. He can do anything, so he can put the right person in my life when he wants to – and he will.

In his timing: God knows all the little details of my life and of my future husband’s. He knows the BEST time for us to meet and date and get married. His timeline might not line up with mine, but he knows better than I do and he will cause everything to unfold at the perfect time.

That’s pretty much it! That’s how I feel about dating in a nutshell. I’m not going to settle for anything less than God’s best.

I’ve waited this long; at this point, I don’t have a lot to lose.

Actually, that’s not true. I do have a lot to lose – I’m in my 30s, I want kids, and I probably don’t have a ton of childbearing years left.

But I have a lot to gain, too. And I’d much rather wait for the right one than marry the wrong one just so I can become a mother. That would only create more and bigger problems, not to mention my motivations would be selfish and unfair to my future descendants.

I’m waiting for the best. Not for perfection – none of us is perfect – but God’s best for me.

I know what I’m looking for, I know it when I see it, I don’t see it very often, and I’m willing to wait for it because I trust God to bring it to me in his timing.

He can be trusted. In your life and in mine.

I may not have seen the fruit of it yet, but I already know the wait is more than worth it.

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