17 Friendship Lessons I’ve Learned

I’ve struggled to make and keep friends my entire life.

Some of my struggles have been situational – friends have moved away or we’ve just lost touch. But my own personality has also been a big factor. I’m a shy introvert who’s really had to learn how to leave my comfort zone in order to cultivate good friendships. It doesn’t and hasn’t always come naturally.

I know I still have much to learn in this area, but here are some things I’ve discovered about friendship over the years:

1. The best way to make a friend is to BE a friend. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation first, rather than wait for someone else to approach you. You might be afraid, but the other person might be even more afraid than you are!
2. You become like the people you hang out with most often. Choose wisely.
3. Friends can come in all ages, not just whatever age you happen to be.
4. True friends are those who mourn when you mourn and celebrate your victories with you.
5. It’s way harder to make friends as an adult than as a kid.
6. It’s way harder to make friends once you’re out of college, so take advantage of the friendship-making opportunities you have while you’re still on campus!
7. Some friends are for a season, and that’s okay.
8. One of the best ways to be a good friend is to be a good listener.
9. To have truly authentic friendships, you need to be vulnerable.
10. If you’re always the first one to send a text or message, the other person probably is sending you a message – just not the one you want to hear.
11. There are more lonely people seeking friends than appearances indicate.
12. Sometimes the unlikeliest people make the best friends.
13. If someone gossips to you, they’ll likely gossip about you.
14. You can find out for sure who your true friends are when you ask them to jump-start your dead car.
15. Humor will get you everywhere. (Unless you or the people you’re trying to befriend have no sense of humor. 😉) People will feel more comfortable around you if you can make them smile and laugh.
16. Like attracts like. Be the caliber of person you want to hang out with!
17. God wants you to have friends. Ask him to put the right people in your life.

If you struggle with making or keeping friends, too, I hope these help and encourage you. You have a lot to offer as a friend, and God has a squad for you! Let him direct you to them, and follow his leading.