You Belong?

“Belong” has been kind of a buzzword for a few years.

Churches have been known to send out their greeting teams like they’re in a picket line, holding up signs that shout, “YOU BELONG HERE!” (Of course, these teams are strategically as diverse as possible so people of every shape, size and color know they belong.)

Workplaces like to boast to their new hires, “We’re a family here.”

Other organizations utilize an array of stock photos to show everyone on social media they belong.

Maybe it’s a related phrase: “Community.” “Tribe.” “Squad.”

I can’t count the times someone has informed me that I’m part of their “family” now or that I “have a seat at the table.” Sometimes it’s sincere, but most of the time, I’ve found that it simply isn’t true. It feels weird and forced and awkward, and it usually isn’t long before I’m out the door, in search of the genuine community I didn’t find at the place I just left.

Every time someone spouts off one of these phrases or one of their relatives, I’m immediately reminded of a scene from The Office. Michael Scott walks in and proclaims, “I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!”

A coworker gently informs him, “You can’t just say the word ‘bankruptcy’ and expect anything to happen.”

“I didn’t say it. I declared it.” Michael responds matter-of-factly, expertly playing the fool his character depicts.

That’s exactly how it feels to me when someone I’ve just met announces that I “belong.” I know full well that they don’t know me enough yet to even determine if they want me to be a part of their group. It makes them look out of touch with reality, and it tells me right there that they are probably not the community I’m searching for.

I get the same feeling when someone mispronounces my name while introducing me as their “friend” or calls me by a nickname I don’t have. To a stranger, it gives off the illusion of closeness, but it’s not the truth. Clearly, we’re not that close if my acquaintance doesn’t know how to say my name.

I’m all for belonging. It’s one of the deep cries of my heart. I believe it’s the cry of every human heart.

But we can’t force it. Usually, it takes time to build. At times, that spark of connection just isn’t there, and declaring it doesn’t make it magically appear.

I’m not trying to undermine fellowship in the workplace, bash church marketing, or claim to have all the answers. (I use stock photos most of the time too, for the record, because I’m too busy not to!)

What I do know is this: we have to be authentic, or people will see right through it. You won’t convince many people they belong if they actually…don’t.

Displaying a sign that says “Welcome home!” won’t make me feel any more at home if I already feel out of place. Telling me everyone at work is “like family” is meaningless if I never hear from my coworkers again once we no longer work together.

Let’s not even talk about people who walk around handing out casual “I love yous” to individuals they do not actually love.

There’s nothing wrong with telling somebody they’re like family to you if you mean it. Absolutely make sure the people you care about know it…but only if that’s the way you truly feel.

However, if it’s not truthful and they’re just another one of your 947 Facebook friends or 362 LinkedIn connections or just some random follower on TikTok…maybe reconsider.

Just tell the truth. You might fool some if you don’t, but inevitably you’ll be found out by those who are discerning.

Everybody belongs somewhere. May we be honest with others and with ourselves, and may we each find the place that really does feel like home.

I bless you with the grace to discover where you belong, the favor of the Lord for divine connections, and the discernment to determine your people and place.

You belong somewhere…it just might not be the place with the sign. 😉